


Hindsight

by SinOfPride



Category: Four Brothers (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-11
Updated: 2012-02-11
Packaged: 2017-10-30 23:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinOfPride/pseuds/SinOfPride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The taste of blood wasn't something Jack was unfamiliar with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hindsight

The taste of blood wasn't something Jack was unfamiliar with.

Since he could remember, it had lingered somewhere in the back of his throat, like a bitter reminder of his weakness against his father's hands. The vulnerability- and the taste- remained throughout his stays in various foster homes; the metallic tang rose up every time he screamed his throat raw, every time he was forced to go down on someone. It was there the time Jack had taken too many of the wrong drugs and he'd thrown up actual blood before waking up in a hospital at age twelve.

The taste of blood meant nothing but weakness and fear and hateful words that scarred on the inside.

It was only in the Mercer's household that Jack came to realize that the taste of fear and the taste of blood were two different things. He still had blood in his mouth whenever their hockey got too violent and whenever Jack couldn't hold off against someone at school. But it wasn't the same when you suddenly had a mother fussing over you afterwards and brothers that apologized when they'd gotten out of hand or beat the shit out of anyone who went after Jack. Suddenly the blood meant _family_. 

The taste of fear was sharp and violent and Jack came to realize it was the trigger for his flashbacks and his tremors and the fucking need for substances he'd quit. And fear was no longer there.

Until it was.

Until Jack couldn't stop screaming and fear was bitter on his tongue, bringing out all the wrong vulnerabilities. The fear was sharp and agonizing in his chest because the rain of bullets wouldn't stop and he didn't think anything had ever hurt so much as the pain of the shots or the slow numbing of his body that crawled over him like a fog. He cried for Bobby because he didn't want to die, but he knew he was, and at least he didn't want to die alone. He could feel the blood pooling in his lungs like red oxygen that was thick and heavy and it was suffocatting him. He was dying. And the taste wasn't at all unfamiliar, but Jack didn't welcome it back. He choked on it and suddenly his brothers were there and they were crying. Bobby was telling him not to die but it was too late now and the blood was slipping past Jack's lips, preventing him from saying I love you and thank you just once again.

The fear was abating along with the light and Jack smiled hollowly when he thought he saw Evelyn above him. The blood meant nothing but death, pain and goodbye, but he still clung to the flavor just a little longer, just long enough to look at Bobby in the eye one final time.

It was familiar and it was painful and it was ending but Jack accepted that blood tasted like _life_ just before his eyes closed for good.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at http://sin-of-pride.livejournal.com/66654.html on February, 2007.


End file.
